"Waiting for a man is like waiting for a bus. You keep waiting, the bus is awfully late and all kinds of buses pass right by you but not the one you are waiting for. Right when you give up (or are about to give up) and stop waiting, you see not just one, but two or more buses (same bus number) line up in front of you! Its exactly the same way with men!"
- A dear friend
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Beauty
"La Beauté sera convulsive ou ne sera pas."
(Beauty will be convulsive or will not be at all.)
- André Breton
(Beauty will be convulsive or will not be at all.)
- André Breton
When to draw a line?
All of us have been in this situation one time or the other in our lives. I have been in it plenty of times, and somehow I manage to get stuck every single time. It is the problem of 'not knowing when to stop'. Be it career, the affairs of the heart or the mind, I have been in places where I got too involved or didn't put in enough effort. Each situation has to be handled in a different way.
Sometimes we are trying too hard for something, whereas, in reality, its not worth the time and effort. But we still try, we still hope, we carry on and we don't give up. This is a place where we should have given up a long time ago and started looking at newer frontiers. But then we didn't want to give up because we thought we can survive and we can make it happen. The outcome - we don't end up getting what we wanted and somewhere the whole experience hardens us, makes us a cynic, and somewhere it makes us stronger.
On the other hand there is a situation where we have been trying for a while, and just when things get really bad, when we are hanging on to a cliff and don't know where to go, during the darkest moment... we Give Up. We think its not worth our time and energy and move on to other avenues, whereas, in reality all it needed was just a little more push, that last surviving breath and a little more effort to succeed. The outcome - sometimes we move on never looking back, but sometimes we regret not hanging in there for just a little while longer.
The fact is, each situation can belong to either of these two criteria. The question is, how do we know where to draw a line? How do we know when to give up and when to keep trying? At the end of the day, its not really about what is right or wrong. Each experience is unique and gives us a lesson to learn, but after a while, it would be nice to know...when to draw a line and when to keep pushing harder to reach the final goal.
Sometimes we are trying too hard for something, whereas, in reality, its not worth the time and effort. But we still try, we still hope, we carry on and we don't give up. This is a place where we should have given up a long time ago and started looking at newer frontiers. But then we didn't want to give up because we thought we can survive and we can make it happen. The outcome - we don't end up getting what we wanted and somewhere the whole experience hardens us, makes us a cynic, and somewhere it makes us stronger.
On the other hand there is a situation where we have been trying for a while, and just when things get really bad, when we are hanging on to a cliff and don't know where to go, during the darkest moment... we Give Up. We think its not worth our time and energy and move on to other avenues, whereas, in reality all it needed was just a little more push, that last surviving breath and a little more effort to succeed. The outcome - sometimes we move on never looking back, but sometimes we regret not hanging in there for just a little while longer.
The fact is, each situation can belong to either of these two criteria. The question is, how do we know where to draw a line? How do we know when to give up and when to keep trying? At the end of the day, its not really about what is right or wrong. Each experience is unique and gives us a lesson to learn, but after a while, it would be nice to know...when to draw a line and when to keep pushing harder to reach the final goal.
Things that you want the most...
...are the things that you get the last. Is that really true, or do some of us get exactly what we want at the time when we want it. If we get something too easily, it would loose its importance for us. Somewhere we want to work hard for what we want, sometimes unconsciously what matters to us more is the actual journey than the destination. Because if we get whatever we desire, whenever we want it, well things would not be challenging anymore. The primal instinct of us living beings, be it humans or animals, is to FIGHT for what we want. Animals fight for their prey, pre-historic men hunted and fought for their food, in tribes and ancient mythology men always fought for the queen, since time immemorial man has fought for land...the list is endless. The fact is, when we want something and when we fight for it, their is a gratification which is not attained by merely getting to the destination the easy way. If we lose, indeed it hurts, but we still have this satisfaction for having 'fought' for what we wanted, having 'tried' to achieve our utmost desires.
On a different note, there are things, not so materialistic, that we've had all our lives and never really appreciated. I have a bad habit of realizing the importance of the presence of someone in my life, in their absence.
Whether it is the doting love of my parents, the unconditional friendship and support of my close ones, I never really came to appreciating it as much when I was next to them. It was when I moved away, or when people went separate ways that I realized how I had taken things for granted on more than one occasion. The thing is, its all in the past and it can never be brought back. But these realizations showed me how it is so easy to give importance to the most trivial things in life, how we run after things that don't even matter but we want them anyways just because we think we need them. Our desire for that "something" or "someone" makes us so blind that we ignore what is right in front of us. What we have been looking for might be right by us, just in a different shape and form....
' Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,
Sometimes, the first thing you want never comes,
And I know, that waiting is all you can do,
Sometimes...'
- Lyrics from Strange and Beautiful by Aqualung
On a different note, there are things, not so materialistic, that we've had all our lives and never really appreciated. I have a bad habit of realizing the importance of the presence of someone in my life, in their absence.
Whether it is the doting love of my parents, the unconditional friendship and support of my close ones, I never really came to appreciating it as much when I was next to them. It was when I moved away, or when people went separate ways that I realized how I had taken things for granted on more than one occasion. The thing is, its all in the past and it can never be brought back. But these realizations showed me how it is so easy to give importance to the most trivial things in life, how we run after things that don't even matter but we want them anyways just because we think we need them. Our desire for that "something" or "someone" makes us so blind that we ignore what is right in front of us. What we have been looking for might be right by us, just in a different shape and form....
' Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,
Sometimes, the first thing you want never comes,
And I know, that waiting is all you can do,
Sometimes...'
- Lyrics from Strange and Beautiful by Aqualung
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Stop crying your heart out
Quite self-explanatory.
"Stop Crying Your Heart Out"
Hold up
Hold on
Don't be scared
You'll never change what's been and gone
May your smile (may your smile)
Shine on (shine on)
Don't be scared (don't be scared)
Your destiny may keep you warm
Cos' all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Get up (get up)
Come on (come on)
Why're you scared? (I'm not scared)
You'll never change
Whats been and gone
Cos all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Cos' all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Were all of us stars
Were fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see us some day
Just take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out
- Oasis
"Stop Crying Your Heart Out"
Hold up
Hold on
Don't be scared
You'll never change what's been and gone
May your smile (may your smile)
Shine on (shine on)
Don't be scared (don't be scared)
Your destiny may keep you warm
Cos' all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Get up (get up)
Come on (come on)
Why're you scared? (I'm not scared)
You'll never change
Whats been and gone
Cos all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Cos' all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Were all of us stars
Were fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see us some day
Just take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out
- Oasis
Monday, August 11, 2008
A lifetime's worth in a week and a half...
It was a week full of anticipation, excitement, pure adrenaline rush, hopes, expectations, high energy, competition, attitude, humility, life, sadness, friendships and tragedies, sparks and passion...a little bit of everything. Ok, so may be I sound a bit over-dramatic here, but it really was a lifetime's experience packaged in a week and a half of my life.
'Success only comes to those who are too busy to look for it.' ? I say, 'Surprises and happiness only come to those who are too busy to expect them.' Right at the moment when you least expect from life, that is exactly when life brings with itself a plethora of opportunities and emotions, so strong and so deep to fathom, that you often get lost in its realms. I went into a new city, with no expectations, and came out with unexplored facets of my own personality, with new experiences, new revelations, new friendships and new heart-aches. It was a world full of opportunities, showing me new avenues in every aspect of life, be it career, people or personal development, but it also showed me where I stand and how I will really need to plan things in order to move up. Meeting new people is always fun, but the part that sucks is when they LEAVE. When everyone leaves, or starts following a path which is very different from mine. Its a pattern - you meet, you greet, you mingle, you get close, and then .... you leave. If only I could make the parting as happy as the beginning. But then again, parting is not really the end, its just a pause for some. But its a pause full of uncertainties. You don't know if you will EVER see those people again in your life, and sometimes you just need to leave it up to Fate/Destiny (words deemed not be in our control) to see if your paths cross again. Until then, you wait, and you meet more people and you get lost in their worlds, and get entangled in the same web of meet-greet-part. I guess this really is a pessimist's point of view, because an optimist would be of a contradictory opinion. I love meeting new people too, but only if their friendship would last for more than a week.
And then there are always those who leave with words unsaid and emotions unaccounted for, with whom there is no closure, and who leave you wondering 'Should I, or should I not get in touch with him/her? Would they think I am trying to be clingy, and would they just consider it a friend's call trying to keep in touch with them? Should I, or should I not?' I guess a part of my problem, is the over-analysis or over-complication of things. Why can we not simply enjoy the moment we lived in, forget about it and move on? I do an excellent job at capturing moments, but can't seem to let go and forget them. And then those moments linger in my mind for days....
There's no structure to my post, its more of a gabber than a streamlined thought. But nonetheless, it is from the complicated mesh of my thoughts and imagination.
'Success only comes to those who are too busy to look for it.' ? I say, 'Surprises and happiness only come to those who are too busy to expect them.' Right at the moment when you least expect from life, that is exactly when life brings with itself a plethora of opportunities and emotions, so strong and so deep to fathom, that you often get lost in its realms. I went into a new city, with no expectations, and came out with unexplored facets of my own personality, with new experiences, new revelations, new friendships and new heart-aches. It was a world full of opportunities, showing me new avenues in every aspect of life, be it career, people or personal development, but it also showed me where I stand and how I will really need to plan things in order to move up. Meeting new people is always fun, but the part that sucks is when they LEAVE. When everyone leaves, or starts following a path which is very different from mine. Its a pattern - you meet, you greet, you mingle, you get close, and then .... you leave. If only I could make the parting as happy as the beginning. But then again, parting is not really the end, its just a pause for some. But its a pause full of uncertainties. You don't know if you will EVER see those people again in your life, and sometimes you just need to leave it up to Fate/Destiny (words deemed not be in our control) to see if your paths cross again. Until then, you wait, and you meet more people and you get lost in their worlds, and get entangled in the same web of meet-greet-part. I guess this really is a pessimist's point of view, because an optimist would be of a contradictory opinion. I love meeting new people too, but only if their friendship would last for more than a week.
And then there are always those who leave with words unsaid and emotions unaccounted for, with whom there is no closure, and who leave you wondering 'Should I, or should I not get in touch with him/her? Would they think I am trying to be clingy, and would they just consider it a friend's call trying to keep in touch with them? Should I, or should I not?' I guess a part of my problem, is the over-analysis or over-complication of things. Why can we not simply enjoy the moment we lived in, forget about it and move on? I do an excellent job at capturing moments, but can't seem to let go and forget them. And then those moments linger in my mind for days....
There's no structure to my post, its more of a gabber than a streamlined thought. But nonetheless, it is from the complicated mesh of my thoughts and imagination.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Madness
A method to my madness...
I love this phrase...And I am realizing that I do have a method to my own madness. And its a pattern that I've been following for almost a decade now, since the realization of 'who I really am' dawned upon me. It starts from establishing a set of rules for myself. Rules that involve anything that is forbidden, religiously, culturally, socially, consciously. Rules of the heart and Rules of the mind. Most of the times, I stick by my rules. But then one fine day my madness begins, captured in the moment and taken over by the rebellious and wild-free-spirit in me, I decide to break my own rules without thinking of the consequences. All is fine until now. Except, when the rule is broken, the moment is past, and its time to move on, I actually cannot let go of it. I can't just capture the moment in a picture frame of my life and move on. I want to hang on to it for as long and as deep as I can, until the ruthless and ever-so-healing tides of time snatch it away from me, or until I fall so hard on the ground that it is hard to get back on my feet. I alienate everything around me and shut myself in my own fortress of solitude reliving those moments that I had captured. And then one day, having spent enough time behind the barriers, I decide to get out of my shell, feeling all strong and triumphant. But I am not the same anymore. I am bruised, and so I am a cynic, and I still have a wall around me. I carry on, establishing another set of rules and boundaries for me, only to see myself break those rules and follow the old method of madness yet again...yet I thrive...and so I survive.
I love this phrase...And I am realizing that I do have a method to my own madness. And its a pattern that I've been following for almost a decade now, since the realization of 'who I really am' dawned upon me. It starts from establishing a set of rules for myself. Rules that involve anything that is forbidden, religiously, culturally, socially, consciously. Rules of the heart and Rules of the mind. Most of the times, I stick by my rules. But then one fine day my madness begins, captured in the moment and taken over by the rebellious and wild-free-spirit in me, I decide to break my own rules without thinking of the consequences. All is fine until now. Except, when the rule is broken, the moment is past, and its time to move on, I actually cannot let go of it. I can't just capture the moment in a picture frame of my life and move on. I want to hang on to it for as long and as deep as I can, until the ruthless and ever-so-healing tides of time snatch it away from me, or until I fall so hard on the ground that it is hard to get back on my feet. I alienate everything around me and shut myself in my own fortress of solitude reliving those moments that I had captured. And then one day, having spent enough time behind the barriers, I decide to get out of my shell, feeling all strong and triumphant. But I am not the same anymore. I am bruised, and so I am a cynic, and I still have a wall around me. I carry on, establishing another set of rules and boundaries for me, only to see myself break those rules and follow the old method of madness yet again...yet I thrive...and so I survive.
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